Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station.

They approached one of the gas pumps and one of the aliens addressed it.

"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

The gas pumps of course didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pumps haughty attitude, drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Greetings earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader or I'll fire!"

The other alien shouted to his comrade, "No, you don't want to make him mad!"

But before he finished his warning the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they landed in a heap rather abruptly. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?"

The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy, when a guy has a p3n1s he can wrap around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, you don't mess with him."

Moving to Chitchat section. This is an auto reply.

Lolz thats a funny one (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin2.gif)
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/clap.gif)
More please....
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/original.gif)

lovely hahahahhahahhahahh

Actually what I want to do? I wanna make a daily joke of the day topic in HP from me. [with the kind permission of all mods and owners] I try my best to make this topic more interesting, funny and rich.

Q: What's the diff between hook in cricket and hook of bra?
A: One sends ball out of boundary and other keeps balls within the boundary.

An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.
The bartender asks, “What’s wrong?” The old man looks at the bartender through
Teary eyes and between sobs says, “I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,
Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.”
The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, “But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?”
The old man looks at the bartender and says, “I can’t remember where I live!”

what an asshole....(IMG:style_emoticons/default/roll1.gif)

A Jewish man and a Gay man were standing infront of the GATES OF HEAVEN. Just like everyone alse, they wanted to go through it..........(how doesnt???)......... But, GOD said that they shal not pass. Bothe of them asked GOD, why? GOD replied, "...because both of you commited many sins!". Scared and heartbroken, they ask GOD, "Is there any way for you to forgive our sins???". GOD smiled.... and said "only if you pass a test!".
Full of joy, they agreed. They asked GOD, what is the test?
God told the Jewish man that he was mony hungry and greedy above all else, so he had to stay away from money for a day. Then he told the gay man..... you need do stay away from having *** with another man. Then God told them to walk a road, and at the end of the road there will be Heaven.
They agreed....... So the Jewish man and the gay man were walking down a road, after some time the encountered a very handsom man cutting wood. The gay man looked at him and got all exited, but the Jewish man told him to stay focused. After a while they encountered a $100.00 bill on the road, the Jewish man wanted to pick it up. The gay man told the Jewish man to focus. They kept walking..... the same thing happened over and over again. Then when they came near the end of the road, they saw the gated to heaven. They started to walk towards it, then the Jewish man saw a breafcase full of money..... he couldnt resist anymore, so he bent over to pick up the money...........and both of them went to hell!!!!