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HOW TO GET A SEAT IN A BUS
Buy Egg Find bus-stop with long queue. Stand near the start of the queue. Take out hankie Put Egg in Hankie Make snorting noises and start saying "Oh God No.." Put Hankie (and hidden egg) around nose Make LOUD Snorting noises Squeeze Egg Allow egg to drip down arm on to floor. The long bus queue will now be much shorter
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